Pop Them Pills!

"Women who took folic acid supplements before and during pregnancy were about 40% less likely to have a baby later diagnosed with autism!"

That statement alone got my full attention! Any woman thinking about getting pregnant in the next three to six months should start taking a daily multivitamin with 400 micrograms of folic acid, Getting enough of this B vitamin before and early on in pregnancy can reduce brain and spine birth defects by up to 70 percent. 

The pill zaps the living daylights out of you. You must get your body back on track nutrient-wise, so stocking up on as many quality vitamins and minerals as possible is key.  A general multivitamin is fine when in good health, but it won’t replace what's lost while on the pill.  As an addition to the multivitamin, fish oil is great for your skin.  A standard multivitamin itself is packed with other nutrients crucial for a healthy pregnancy, like iron to prevent anemia and calcium for strong teeth and bones. 

Pop a pill after you brush your teeth in the morning or stash a jar at work and set a reminder to take it when you first get in.  If you hate swallowing pills, they come in chewable form too. Starting the habit now will make it easier to remember once you're expecting. Folate and B12, in a process known as neural protein synthesis build the neural tube, one cell at a time as Zinc protects the developing cells and transcribes the DNA code! It is essential for women before pregnancy to enrich their bodies with vitamin B9, which is responsible for cell division and nervous system formation. Taking this will reduce the risks of birth defects of the brain and spin such as spina bifida and anencephly if taken daily for 1 month prior for conception and during pregnancy.

The second very important element is tocopherol (vitamin E), contained in vegetable oil, vegetables, and nuts. Pay attention to the sufficient amount of calcium, iron and vitamin D. The best decision is dairy products, meat, fish, and seafood. 

The third supplement, folate, the natural form of folic acid, plays a role in DNA and RNA synthesis and is critical in cellular division needed for cells to divide properly. Folate is found in lentils, spinach, black beans, peanuts, orange juice, romaine lettuce, broccoli asparagus, and eggs. Most people don't get enough folic acid from food.


One last but very important thing!  Check to make sure that your multivitamin doesn't contain more than the recommend daily allowance of 770 mcg of vitamin A, unless most of it is in a form called beta-carotene.  Getting too much of a certain kind of vitamin A can cause birth defects

Unlike our grandmothers and mothers before us, we are blessed to have a all this information and this “magical pills" of sorts that can give us a greater chance of having a healthier baby.  It is our responsibility and gift for our unborn children to give them the healthiest and brightest future possible by picking up this simple routine. 

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"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his paths," Proverbs 16;9

                                                      Our first Christmas, Charleston, VI 

When I started the detailed planning for our future, I knew that some things were going to get mixed up or not get done at all.  What I didn't expect was for the simple beginning to become so complicated!!! No we haven't had an unexpected "surprise" that will be here in 9 months, but we did go through a few scares.

Everything got mixed up! So this is what really ended up happening months after my previous post: Yes I did begin taking folic acid and some supplements in the end of the year, but it was the actual birth control that gave us some difficulty.   In December my husband and I traveled out of the country for a family reunion both on his side and mine!  In the chaos of the intricate planning, I reminded my husband that we needed to buy my bc pill.  We had been sharing one vehicle and we used his credentials to buy my expensive brand.  Long story short, we ended up forgetting, and buying the only brand they had at the AIRPORT, Yaz instead of Jasmine!  The pharmacist assured my husband that it had the same active ingredients but I had my doubts.

Fast forward a few weeks later and over a month passes without me receiving my monthly cycle!!!  Of course we panicked and now my husband is certain that we are pregnant! I on the other had am upset because my body has gone haywire and even though it was heart warming to see that my husband was excited, I felt out of control.   My gynecologist reassured me that the chances of pregnancy were little to none and recommended for me to take a blood test then go back on my regular birth control.

We went grocery shopping to distract ourselves and two hours later we learned that the test came back negative!  I was so relieved!!!! I felt as if the Lord had given me a second chance to get things in order and do this right!  My husband on the other hand was very disappointed and felt that he had been ready to start growing our family.  This scare had been a huge blessing in disguise!

My "monthly friend" ended up arriving six weeks after my last period, and lasted almost 12 days!   Yikes!!!!!  I spoke to some friends about this for the first time a few weeks later and so many of them had similar experiences  and they warned me that maybe it was best for me to get off bc all together.  I remanded reluctant to do so at first.  The bc pill was a comfortable and reliable method.  It cleared up my skin and fit perfectly into my chaotic schedule.  But then I heard a woman on the podcast I regularly listen to "Revive Our Hearts" tell Nancy Lee Demos how horrible the bc really is for your body and the things the pharmaceutical companies don't want you to know about it!  That program almost never spoke on anything to do with health or birth control so it was a strange coincidence.

In the space of just two weeks I had received several warnings about the bc pill along with my own experience but it was only until my husband expressed his own concerns without me sharing my own worries that we made the decision for me to go off it.  I had been blind to my symptoms before, but now I felt that God was speaking directly to me through all of these examples.  So I finished my last pack in February and now we are off the pill.  Lets just hope that we are careful and no little surprises catches us off guard!

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22 Things To Do Before You Conceive!

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Your eggs are drying up!  That distasteful joke has a way of scaring every single girl over the age of 25. It is that tingly feeling in the back of your neck telling you that you are ignoring something important while your mind tells you will be fine.  That right now while working 50+ hour weeks, skipping lunch, exercise, and sleep you can barely take care of yourself much less be ready to care for a helpless child. 

In todays society single men are choosing to enjoy their youth. Postponing the responsibilities of marriage and the pressure of maintaining a family.  Women are delaying marriage to build their carriers; dating around, shopping for the lie Hollywood has sold us of a "perfect mate." The rate of couples with fertility troubles has skyrocketed do to  several things such as the toxins, pesticides and hormones in our diet; because they try to conceive at a later than ideal age, and because their ovulation cycle has been disrupted due body's long dependance on birth control.  Todays society is less focused on creating a healthy family and more no enjoying the endless pleasures around us.

I had my life figured out by the time I was 13.  I was going to marry a guy who would live to love me right out of college and have my first child at the young healthy age of 24 like my mother.  When I turned 24 and was still single without prospects, reality hit me hard and I even fell into a little depression.  But the Lord used that to make me stronger in my faith and to have a clearer view of where my heart and thus treasures were.  That my hope and future should not be fixed to the things of this earth that wither and die, but to God's eternal love!

It is a scientific fact that your eggs are healthiest  that they are going to be in your 20s, and that your risk of pregnancy complications goes up as you age and after 35.  The quality of your eggs goes down exponentially every year.  You can get various hormone tests—and they can look fine at 39, and two months later they can not be fine.

If you are trying to conceive or thinking about trying in the next 6 months to a year, then there are several things that you should think about doing before then.  Half of all pregnancies are unplanned, but for all of you who like to be a bit more prepared in the next 25 blogs I will detail the things that my husband and I will be doing before conceiving.

I like to compare pregnancy to an olympic event, in that you want to train for it and you want to make sure you’re in good physical, emotional and even spiritual condition before you get pregnant. This is a great time for women who struggle with being overweight to say, ‘You know what—I’m going to get an aggressive nutrition plan and get into shape for this pregnancy.’' This is also a good time to refresh or work on the little kinks that you might have in your marriage so that your child may be conceived in a stable loving environment. 

Though out the next few months I will be blogging on the 22 things that will help prepare you to  conceive.

The Next BIG Question

My husband and I with our nephew

When I got back from our honeymoon I expected people to ask us about our trip and how it felt to be married; I even expect them to share a few sentimental memories of our wedding.  What I didn't expect was to be bombarded with questions about when we were planning to look for a "little one."  These questions shocked and  overwhelmed me as I struggled just to  adjust to married life!  Sharing a life, schedule and apartment with someone, no matter how well you know each other can be a huge adjustment; as it was for me.  Lots of arguments over bathroom habits, frustration over miscommunication, and adapting to planning your life around someone else. It takes time, patience, love and dedication to conquer these marriage growth pains.   

Another thing that I didn't expect was that after spending every free moment I had planning an intricate wedding then detailing and constructing our first home; that I would feel a tremendous emptiness when all was left and done! Sure there were wedding videos to edit, albums to be made, and details of the apartment to be perfected; not to mention enjoying falling asleep and waking up in my best friend's arms! Yet I wasn't used to this sudden calm and peace of the blessing of living a normal newlywed life!  

My mind was accustomed to a strict routine of planning my life and events; so naturally I fell into the trap of wondering when it was that we would plan to procreate!  Luckily, (before I scared my new husband with crazy baby talk) I realized fast enough that I needed to enjoy each stage in my life and make the most of our newly-wed stage before the burden and responsibilities of children would undoubtedly arise! That new determination didn't stop the swarms of people who continued to ask the baby question, but it did give me a greater peace.  

I was fine for a little while until they came at me from a different direction!  After informing these curious minds that my husband and I were focusing on making the most of our marriage for the time being, they became even more concerned and reminded me that I was well into my late twenties.  They pressured me by stating that we should then consider only having one or two children at the most because a pregnancy in my 40s was too high a risk!

So I did what I do best.  I researched, calculated, googled and got it out of my system!  Most importantly, I thanked God that I was even having this "problem" and placed all my worries and concerns in His mighty and all knowing hands!!!

"For I know the plans I have for you," Says the Lord.  "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

Babysitting the nephews!

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What Happens After "I Do"?

(Our honeymoon on an island resort just off the coast of Samana, Dominican Republic)

I could write a book or better yet start another blog on the difficulties my new husband and I had when we began living together.  Our relationship wasn't perfect when we were dating and marriage only amplified the problems in our relationship.  As the bible says, marriage is meant to purify you and make you more Christ like. 

"In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands [respect].  Then even if some refuse to obey the Word [the Bible], your godly lives will speak to them without any words.  They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives.  Treat your wife with understanding as you live together.  She may be weather than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life [conversion].  Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered." 1Peter 3:1,2, & 7 

Our pride, anger, disrespect and miscommunication brought us great pain in the first three months.  As we settled into our apartment and ran our first errands, we would hear sermons on marriage over and over trying to bring some light and peace to our union.  We listend to Pastor Eduardo Saladin's series on marriage http://ibsj.org/recursos/predicacion/mensajes/serie/como-luce-el-amor.html and Pastor Mark Driscol's series/book on marriage that came out around the same time http://marshill.com/media/real-marriage.  

Even with all these blessings of advice, solid biblical preaching and information; we still needed the following of our local pastor and sessions with my mother-in-law and several family members.  We also finished reading all the books on marriage that we began to read during our engagement: 

The only peace I had at times was knowing that my husband loved me and most importantly: that God himself had destined him to be my husband! For over twenty years we lived an ocean apart and I didn't meet him until years after I moved into the same city.  It wasn't a conscience that my ex boyfriend introduced us or that my husband's baby sister was best friends at that time with my cousin.  The Lord worked in my heart preparing and strengthening me to enter a chaotic dating relationship with him; and it was our faith and love of Jesus that preserved our relationship up to now!

Talking to open older couples with solid marriages and other newlyweds like us helped us realize that we are normal!  Marriage is just a lot of work and you must wake up every morning determined to do your part, hold your tongue and pray for your spouse!  

The song "God Gave Me You," by Blake Shelton gave me great comfort and hope too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCf2PoTuh4Q 

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The Proposal

My control freak and ever ready planning tendencies almost ruined another milestone blessing in my life when I sensed that my then boyfriend was getting ready to pop the question:

He proposed to me after only six months at the suggestion of my grandmother at my family reunion in Florida.  He involved my entire family in the process and had them record the entire process from different angles.  

That morning I heard on the news that statistics say that the majority of couples get engaged in December, so I made sure to paint a fresh coat of nail polish and look my best at all times.  My four siblings and I snooped as he asked my parents for my hand in marriage days earlier by the pool and I caught him whispering with family members all through out the week.  

On Christmas Eve he and my grandmother accompanied me to BJ's Wholesale to buy the ingredients for that night's celebration.  As always I was stressing and a bit overwhelmed.  He accompanied my grandmother in the jewelry section while I raced up and down the 50 aisles.  At one moment when I went to check up on them he called me over to look at some rings.  Alarm bells went off and I made it clear that I didn't want to know what my ring might look like or know when the moment would come.  He countered that he just wanted to see my taste and my grandmother literally began to pinch my ribs several times enticing me to select one.  To add a little holiday humor to the mix, the sales person could have passed off as Mrs. Kringle twinkly humor and all.  She would make several comments on how she never had seen a girl resist a ring from a boy so much in her life.  I was blocked but allowed my man to guide me through it and settled on a unique bridge ring that was WAY more elaborate than I had planned yet still had the elegant antique feel that I've always desired.  

Knowing me well and wanting to out whit me, he proposed two hours before he was to hop on a plane back home in Miami (one hour away from where I lived)!  He said that he was going to run a last minute errand with my father before the flight.  The doorbell rang and my sisters informed me that there was a package for me in my room upstairs.  Once in the room the door was closed behind me and I saw an envelope with his handwriting on the outside.  It had a symbol of a rose on the outside and the card told me to count to 30 remembering our roller-coaster of a relationship.  Of corse I couldn't wait and rushed out the door to find that a path of rose petals had magically appeared!!!

I followed the beautiful path and even caught a glimpse of my brother scattering them outside towards  the canal in the back of my house!  The path lead me to an inflatable boat that he and I had searched five stores for, I believing that I was meant for his cousin!  Inside the boat I recovered another envelope with a tiny boat drawn on it.  The card said some beautiful things and that I was to row to my destiny.

That was NOT going to happen!!!! First, it was illegal to go into that canal. Second, the canal was four feet steep from the ledge, and last, it was freezing!!!  So I hoped into my Prius with my youngest sister recording the entire time and drove around till I saw my other sisters car in front of the communities park.  

There was a giant Fedex (his nick name) box in front of the lake's fountain.  As I approached he popped out startling me!!! He handed me a bouquet of roses and red present.  Inside the present was another envelope with a ring drawn on the outside.  Inside, his love letter recapped our story and in the end asked for me to say the words he longed to hear.  He then dropped to one knee and asked for me to marry him.  I just kept on laughing and finally said YES!

We then picked up his luggages and drove to Miami and had emotional parting straight out of a movie! 

The Love of My Life

This is the LOVE of my life!  If you have read my previous entry you would have noted that we had a somewhat scary start.  Our relationship seemed to be star-crossed before it even began!  My rules and plans were thrown out the window the moment he stepped through the door to my heart and I let go trusting that God will guid us forward.  With every fiber of my being I believed that the Lord would transform that lost boy into a wise and gentle leader who would surpass me spiritually and guide our relationship.  I believe that my faith, his enormous heart and and our lack of doubt was the reason for how quickly the process unraveled!

The first thing I did before I accepted to be his girlfriend was place the condition that he had to ask my family's permission.  It was a risk to take with this notorious bad boy who refused to date a girl from church because of his lack of commitment; but it was the most important decision that I would make (that any serious girl should make) at the first bloom of our relationship.  If a guy knows that you are loved, valued and protected he will respect his commitment to you ten times more than if you were on your own.

I don't believe that we would have made it if we weren't under the caring and watchful eye of my family.   We were arguing all the time! Heavy phone calls, dramatic text messages and plenty of standoffs.  He had a hard time letting go of his past and assimilating to christian lifestyle.  I was inexperienced, impatient and naive to gently guiding a man. Our family held us together through the rough beginning until our love blossomed enough to face the storms on our own.

This man matured quickly and would be there through the diagnosis and treatment of my benign tumor, the deaths of the two people that I loved most in this world, my grandparents whom I lived with and tended to for years.  I had always prayed to the Lord that I would not be alone when that time came.  My grandparents had a great love & enormous faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. Their love was so exceptional that they died just a few months apart.

In a little less than two years we were married!  We both had the same luck.  He was carless at the same times that I would be.  We both went back to college that the same time, jobless at the same time and started our current employment at the same time (days after our wedding).  It was our God that blessed us so that we were able to strengthen our character and mature together!

Right now my husband is the industrial engineer, along side of a handful of doctors, handling this country's largest hospital receive American and international accreditation.  He works twelve minutes away from our apartment and we live three minutes away from our church!

This man is my best friend, my lover, my leader, my comfort, my guardian, my nutritionist, my psychologist, my inspiration, my everything!!!